_____Below you will find the short story "Secrets" by Valeria Robinson. At Calliope, we are convinced there is some deep meaning hidden within this story that is waiting to be unearthed. Much as James Joyce appears to just be about masturbation, so the following story may appear to "just" be about an eating disorder. In order to elucidate the hidden Universes that must be locked within "Secrets," we are holding an essay contest. Send us your analysis of the secrets locked within "Secrets" (minimum 1000 words) and the winner will have his/her/its essay posted in the April issue. (And yes, the typos are all sic).

Valerie Robinson
Secrets

_____I walked into the middle of the lunchroom aisle with my tray. Scared and unsure, I crept up to each table hoping there was a spot open for me. They sat there eating their lunches paying no attention to me. I approached on table, but the girl whipped her blonde hair around and continued to talk eighth-grader talk. I searched again to another table, an empty table with a single, slightly chubby dirty-blonde haired girl.
_____“Hi, may I sit down?” I asked.
_____“Sure,” the chubby girl responds.
_____“My name is Denise Walters. What is your name?” I asked.
_____“Barbara Powell.”
_____“Do you like school?” I asked.
_____“So-So.”
_____“What do you do for fun?” As I asked her that question I looked down at her hands. Her forearms were placed on the table with her hands folded as if she were praying.
_____“I like to go to the movies.”
_____“Where is your lunch?” I asked, still staring at her praying hands.
_____“I don’t eat lunch.”
_____“Oh,” I said with surprise, How come?”
_____“I don’t know. I just don’t eat lunch.”
_____“I don’t eat breakfast.”
_____“I don’t eat breakfast either.”
_____“I stopped eating breakfast since the sixth grade.” Barbara exhaled as she removed her hands from the table. I stared with amazement and continued asking her questions.
_____“Do you eat dinner?” I asked.
_____“Sometimes. What about you?” she asked.
_____“Sometimes,” I said even though I knew that was not the truth. The truth is that I always ate my lunch and my dinner. Big portions too. The only reason why I didn’t eat breakfast is because I had to get up early for school and I didn’t have time for breakfast.
_____“No, I never eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner,” said Barbara.
_____“Cool.” We sat there the rest of lunch period and talked about boys and our favorite movie stars.
_____Next day came and I found myself again searching for a table. This time I automatically found Barbara sitting at the same table, alone with her praying hands. I wasted no time and sat down at her table.
_____“Hey Barbara. How are you?”
_____“I’m fine. How are you?”
_____“I’, fine too. I’m not eating lunch today.”
_____“Me either.” She removed her arms from the table to wrap them around her thick waist. I glared at her with amazement. Everything about her amazed me and I wanted to do whatever she did. I hung on every word as if she were my idol.
_____“My dog had to go to the vet today. Sparkles has worms.”
_____“Really? That’s sad. My dog Lady has worms too. She’s really disgusting. She eats her own mess.”
_____That’s gross,” She said as she crunched her face while nodding her head.
_____“I’m moving,” I said excitedly.
_____“Where?”
_____“Pennsylvania.”
_____“I heard that there is nothing to do up there.”
_____“I can’t wait to move. I’m going to miss my friends though, but I am really excited about going to a new place.”
_____“That’s good.” Lunch period ended and Barbara and I said our goodbyes. We walked a little bit out of the cafeteria together, but went our separate ways after we exited the doors. I started feeling good about myself for the first time. I met a new friend, and I skipped eating lunch.
_____I arrived home around 2:15 in the evening. Mom was already fixing dinner. It was pork chops and rice, one of my favorites.
_____“Hey mom! Cookin’ dinner for tonight?”
_____“Yeah. I have to get other things done, so I said to myself that I will cook dinner now.”
_____“Okay. Well, I have to do my homework.” I walked out of the kitchen and into my room to begin my homework. I didn’t have a lot of homework to do but it did take me at least a couple of hours to complete it.
_____After I finished my homework everyone in the house were settling in the kitchen and dishing up their food. I stood in the corner remembering Barbara from school. She never ate lunch or breakfast, and she sometimes ate dinner. I looked down at the table and smiled. I turned around back to my room. I never ate dinner that night, and I missed many dinners and lunches after that. Looking back on it, for some strange reason I thought that it was a good thing that I did. It wasn’t. I still wonder if Barbara is okay and I still wonder if I’m okay.